Relief

After feeling like I was going to die last week, I called my doctor back and spoke directly to my doctors nurse. She is my new best buddy. She gave me 2 medicines, 1 that will completely knock me out for really bad days and one for daily use. This is a miracle drug! Its amazing the difference it makes. Of course, its crazy expensive, but would you expect anything different? Now I'm feeling significantly better and can start to focus on feeling some excitement.

More than a few days

Remember last post, when I said I just needed a few days to wrap my head around being pregnant? Well, its been 8, and I'm still not there. The morning sickness is getting worse each day. I think today was worse than when I was pregnant with Ben, and it was rough with him. Maybe its the same, but having 3 kids now makes it seem worse??? It lasted most of the day yesterday. It left for a few hours in the afternoon, but came back in time for dinner. I started today with a bang. Its starting to let up, but I'm afraid it will come back in a few hours. This is not the weight loss plan I had in mind! I called the doctors office, but they wont give me anything until I see the doctor, which isn't for a week and a half. I don't even know if they'll give me anything. When I was pregnant with Ben they would only prescribe for severe vomiting. Its hard to try to get excited about such a big surprise when all you want to do is throw up!

You've got to be kidding

I woke up Sunday morning and realized I was 5days "late". I mentioned it to Jon, but he wasn't worried so I put it out of my head. Monday morning, right before Jon left for work, he mentioned he was concerned. Of course, that made me concerned. So when Corrie came to hang out with us, I headed to the store. I was really trying to convince myself I was just tired, stressed and fighting off the kids colds. I got a generic brand pregnancy test and it was positive...sort of. One line was barely visible so I told myself it was the brand. It was a defective test. I tried to convince Corrie of this too, but I don't know if she bought it. We went out and got a brand name double pack. I took a second test and got the same result...one line very visible, the other barely there. I kept Jon posted. I think he was a bit freaked out, but he put on a good face for me because I was very freaked out. I took another test this morning with the same result. I knew it was positive, but I kept trying to find ways around it so I headed to the doctors office for a blood test. I needed a definite yes or no so I couldn't argue the result. By the end of the day I got the call, "you are definitely very pregnant!" I am 5 weeks along and due 11-5-11 (my father-in-laws birthday). The more Jon says it, the more excited he gets. I just keep thinking 2 kids 11months apart.

This was NOT the plan. We were pretty sure we would have four kids, but I was done. We were going to adopt another baby-----a long time from now. My pregnancy with Sam was rough. That was a huge reason why we decided to adopt in the first place. Now I'm going through it again and I'm 2+ years older. Another pregnancy, another surgery, another recovery with 3 kids, a husband, 2 animals and a house to keep clean. Freaked out doesn't begin to cover it! I have amazing friends who have tried to reassure me for two days that God has a plan for us, he wont give us more than we can handle, he is faithful etc. I know that in my heart, but my head needs some time to catch up. 2 kids 11months apart. How am I going to get out of the house next winter?

On the other hand, lets just say the fact that I'm pregnant is a miracle. This baby is going to be something special to be here with all the odds Jon and I stacked against a pregnancy! This baby is truly a gift from God so I'm sure I'll come around. I just need a few more days to get there.